Sleep Sweetly, Don't Panic
by Cupid's Nightmare
Summary: Jiroh is really narcoleptic, Ohtori has a panic disorder and Atobe is learning that he doesn't know his team as well as he thought. ShishiTori or Silver Pair, AtoJi, Dirty Pair. Drug abuse warning! DISCONTINUED
1. Sleep Sweetly, Don't Panic

Title: Sleep Sweetly, Don't Panic

Pairings: AtoJi, Silver Pair, Dirty Pair, references to Golden Pair, one-sided AtoTez, references to TezuRyoFuji, hinted JiTori

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: M

Warnings: yaoi, violence, swearing, drug abuse, dark humour, aggressive!Jiroh, rebellious!Ohtori, **_OOCness with everyone (especially Ohtori)_**

A/N: People are always referring to Jiroh as narcoleptic since he sleeps so much. Well, that wouldn't be completely correct. Narcolepsy refers to more than just sleeping a lot and it's important to understand the difference between a narcoleptic and someone who sleeps a lot (like Ki-chan and her 'sleeeeeeeeeep! Don't you love sleep?!'). That way you don't tell someone you're narcoleptic and have them constantly worrying about you.

On another note…

Saa…this is my first time writing Hyoutei so please don't violently murder me ('cept Atobe…because Ore-sama is not to be ignored. But nothing I've posted mentions him more than in passing…)

Oh. I also decided to make something wrong with Ohtori because I tend to torture my favourite characters a lot…Ohtori-kun gets panic disorder.

-x-X-x-

**IMPORTANT! READ THIS FIRST!**

Narcolepsy- a disorder marked by sudden and uncontrollable drowsiness or sleep attacks at unexpected and irregular intervals. The attacks may last for a few minutes or hours and vary between few and many during the day.

In addition to sleep attacks, about 80 percent of narcolepsy cases are accompanied by cataplexy, a loss of muscle control that causes the person to collapse, often following a sudden surge of emotion, such as laughter or rage. More than 60 percent of narcoleptics experience sleep paralysis, an inability to move for one or two minutes even though fully conscious, which can induce an intense feeling of fear. Narcoleptics may also experience vivid, emotionally charged, and unpleasant visions, which occur at the onset of sleep or upon awakening.

People unfamiliar with narcoleptic symptoms may label the narcoleptic as lazy or psychologically disturbed, which can have severe consequences for the narcoleptic, including low self-esteem, depression, or social problems. Doctors typically prescribe stimulant drugs, such as amphetamines. Antidepressant drugs, such as imipramine, are prescribed to suppress cataplexy. Sleep therapy, in which a regimen of strict bedtimes and daytime naps are established, may also help some patients have fewer unexpected sleep attacks.

**I have placed Jiroh in the 80 percent with cataplexy as well as the more than 60 percent with sleep paralysis. He will, later, suffer from the mentioned hypnagogic hallucinations.**

**PANIC DISORDER- **People with panic disorder experience panic attacks—periods of quickly escalating, intense fear and discomfort accompanied by such physical symptoms as rapid heartbeat, trembling, shortness of breath, dizziness, and nausea. Because people with this disorder cannot predict when these attacks will strike, they develop anxiety about having additional panic attacks and may limit their activities outside the home.

Symptoms include a racing heart, shortness of breath, trembling, choking or smothering sensations, and fears of "going crazy," losing control, or dying from a heart attack. Panic attacks may last from a few seconds to several hours. Most peak within 10 minutes and end within 20 or 30 minutes. Some antidepressant drugs, such as imipramine (Tofranil), also reduce panic symptoms in some people but can produce side effects such as dizziness or dry mouth. Medication eliminates panic symptoms in 50 to 60 percent of patients. For many patients, however, panic attacks return when they stop taking the medication. Research has shown that cognitive-behavioral therapy, a type of psychotherapy, eliminates panic attacks in 80 to 100 percent of patients. In this method, therapists help patients re-create the physical symptoms of a panic attack, teach them coping skills, and help them to alter their beliefs about the danger of these sensations.

**So, there we go. Two fluffy loveable characters on drugs.**

-x-X-x-

It had started as every practice started. Two hundred (and more) teenaged boys running around the tennis courts under Atobe's gaze. His Regulars were easy to pick out. They stood out like Mizuki Hajime's purple shirt would in a sea of Hyoutei uniforms.

Oshitari was holding on to the back of Kabaji's shirt, letting the second year pull him along. Kabaji was simply staring ahead, either unaware or uncaring. Gakuto was weaving in and out of the cluster of bodies, always near to his doubles partner despite the constant movement. Shishido was stumbling over an untied shoelace, but he didn't dare stop to tie it again for fear of being trampled underfoot. Ohtori dogged his senpai, slowing to ensure that he could protect his partner from harm. Hiyoshi was, of course, trying to get ahead of everyone else. This only served to get him squashed between everyone.

Atobe frowned. Something was wrong with the picture. He let his eyes wander leisurely over the club members again and his eyes finally caught what he was looking for. Jiroh was…lagging behind? The volley expert was trying to duck and weave into the masses but he kept getting pushed back with almost no effort. Was the 'narcoleptic' having an off-day? Well, everyday seemed to be an off-day. It was nothing to worry about, unless he suddenly threw up in the middle of practice. That was highly unlikely.

Practice commenced with practice matches for the upcoming friendly against St. Rudolph. In all honesty, Atobe did _not_ want to see Mizuki. After happening upon the Manipulative Manager practically molesting his kouhai, well…it might have been more amusing if the kouhai hadn't been Fuji Yuuta and if he hadn't been so…cooperative. Atobe shook his head slightly, dislodging that thought.

The first match was singles between Ohtori and Jiroh. Atobe left for a few minutes to address the issue of the late surge in vandalism of Regulars' belongings. Sakaki had told him to come in that day. When he returned, he was as horrified as he could be at the sorry excuse for a one-set match being played.

"Game, Ohtori. Four-love!" Oshitari announced.

"What?"  
"Seriously?!"

"What's up with Akutagawa-senpai today?"

"He didn't even try to return that last shot!"

"Go, Ohtori-kun!"

"Shut up and respect the senpai, you idiot! He needs our support!"

"YOU SHUT UP!"  
A light frown marred Ohtori's face and Atobe had the sneaking suspicion that the junior knew something about Jiroh's strange lack of drive. Tennis and Atobe (and the mention of Fuji Syuusuke's name) were the few things that could rouse the sleepy teen into true consciousness and yet, he stood swaying on the tennis court. There was twitch in his cheek that grew steadily worse as the yelling grew louder. Shishido was inching toward the court with the strangest expression of worry on his face. What was more, he was walking toward _Jiroh_, rather than his doubles partner. Atobe's brow creased. The doubles pair knew what was going on and they weren't telling the captain.

"WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME PLAY TENNIS?! GOD, YOU'RE ALL SO LOUD AND ANNOYING!!!!!"

Silence fell over the courts. Jiroh was standing with his racquet clenched in his fist, looking very angry. Atobe's thought sequence froze, his blood running cold. He had never seen his singles player (and friend, as he often had to remind himself) look so downright _angry_. More so, he was angry at the underclassmen for _cheering him on_. It was strange to say the least.

What happened next, though, seemed to take the cake as far as Atobe was concerned.

Jiroh, without warning, suddenly tumbled to the ground. He just fell backward, racquet dropping from his grasp. He didn't move, although his eyes were open. His jaw was slack and he stared straight ahead. A garbled sound emitted from his throat. Shishido was suddenly shoving past Oshitari, who easily stepped aside. His glasses glinted as he adjusted them. Gakuto was clenching the railing a few feet away from Atobe, trying not to leap down the bleachers. Hiyoshi was practically falling over himself to get up from his seat, an odd reaction for the usually bland junior. Kabaji was, it seemed, not as clueless as Atobe.

Ohtori vaulted the net with a leap that, under normal circumstances, would make Gakuto jealous. He looped his arms under Jiroh's arms, letting Shishido grab his legs and they began moving toward the bleachers. Atobe, however, blocked them.

"Move it, Atobe. We have to get him to lie down," Shishido snapped.

"Ore-sama demands to know what is going on."

"Atobe-san, onegai," Ohtori pleaded.

"No."

"But…Atobe-san…"

"Iie."

"God fucking dammit, Atobe-san, move!" Ohtori roared.

Caught off-guard by his kouhai's sudden rudeness, Atobe stepped aside. Ohtori and Shishido settled Jiroh in a comfortable position on the bleachers, lying on his side to make it easy for him to breathe. Oshitari had shooed the non-Regulars to the clubroom, saying that practice was over early. Kabaji had assisted, using his mere presence. Now, Gakuto flew into his doubles partner's arms and demanded to know why this was happening to their team. Oshitari simply pulled Gakuto over to where the Regulars were, a few feet away from Jiroh's prone form. (Atobe wanted to know what 'this' entailed.)

Ohtori was sitting with his head in his hands, muttering about something that only Hiyoshi seemed to hear. The martial artist was seated behind Ohtori, rubbing his back and trying to shush him. Shishido kept glancing at Jiroh, gnawing on his lip. Atobe folded his arms and stood in all his five-foot-ten glory (stats from The Seven Lines).

"It seems to Ore-sama that everyone knows something and you do not see it fit to share."

Ohtori was the first to respond after a long and unsettling silence. He raised his head, dislodging Hiyoshi, who slid up the bleachers as if expecting his classmate to explode. The fact of the matter was that, despite his placidity and overall nice manner, Ohtori Choutarou was a time bomb. Everything eventually drove to the centre of his being and everything just suddenly gushed out, like lava from an especially violent volcano.

He stood, walked over to the captain and regarded him with a look that Atobe couldn't read. Then, he slapped him. It was hard enough to leave a violently red mark on the rich boy's cheek and when Atobe gathered his bearings, he shrieked at the boy.

"Did my question warrant that, Ohtori-kun?! I could have you sued!"

"SO SUE ME!" Ohtori yelled. He lowered his voice to continue. "Everyone knows what's wrong with Jiroh-san. He told us last month. In fact, that's why we never give him a hard time about his sleeping habits anymore. You were there but you were too busy on the phone and when he asked if you were listening, you waved him off. Guess what's wrong with him, Atobe-san? He's narcoleptic. He suffers from cataplexy as a symptom and if you cared about anyone else…" The junior's hands curled into fists and he shoved Shishido away. "IF YOU CARED, YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT! SO, DECIDE! YOU CAN SUE ME, KICK ME OFF THE TEAM AND BE NONE THE WISER ABOUT WHAT JIROH-SAN IS GOING THROUGH…OR YOU CAN LISTEN TO US FOR ONE GODDAMNED MINUTE OF OUR INSIGNIFICANT LIVES!"

Shishido pulled Ohtori away before he could give Atobe another slap and led him to sit down, speaking in a low, reprimanding tone. Atobe watched as Ohtori started to sob and hiccup into his partner's shirt.

"It's okay, Choutarou." Shishido looked up to give his captain a dirty look. "Geki dasa, Atobe. You don't even know us anymore."

Five minutes later, Hiyoshi suddenly spoke.

"Akutagawa-senpai."

There was a rustle and Jiroh sat up slowly. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, sighed and slid along the bleachers. He stopped beside Ohtori who had moved on to the full waterworks. Shishido disentangled himself from his doubles partner to make room for the blonde. Jiroh hugged the tall junior, petting his hair gently.

"Arigatou, Ohtori-kun. That was brave of you. But you're really loud, you know. Man, I bet Sakaki-sensei heard your yelling all the way in the Music Room. I'm grateful that you stood up for me but could ya not burst my eardrums next time?"

Ohtori looked up and gave a small laugh, but it just started a new wave of sobs. "Atobe, I mean, Atobe-san. Gomenasai! I was so rude!"

"Akutagawa, explain yourself," Atobe demanded, ignoring his kouhai's tearful apology.

"I think Ohtori-kun spelled it out pretty well, 'Tobe." Jiroh frowned. "I'm narcoleptic."

_"Gomenasai, buchou."_

"Every time I get really mad or happy or whatever, I could lose all control of my muscles: that's cataplexy."

_"I really didn't mean to slap you."_

"I was fully awake. I just couldn't move. I also suffer from sleep paralysis but you guys don't need to worry about that. Isn't that right, Ohtori-kun? Ohtori-kun has been taking care of me, along with Shishido here. They remind me to take my medications and stuff…unfortunately, I was in such a rush that I forgot to take my Tofranil this morning. Didn't mean to cause trouble, guys."

"Tofranil…isn't that an _anti-depressant_?" Atobe asked.

"Yeah. It's supposed to suppress cataplexy. But, well, yeah. I'm gonna have to tell my parents about this."

A light glaze entered Jiroh's eyes, as though he didn't relish the idea of telling his family anything as he muttered, "Not that the Tofranil helps with the sleeping…" (1)

-x-X-x-

_DINNER HOUR_

Shishido tightened his shoelaces and headed toward Ohtori's room. His heart had seized up when Ohtori started to cry because God only knew that it could have led to a panic attack. At least it hadn't happened.

Shishido nodded at Oshitari and attempted to pass him. Unfortunately, the tensai grabbed his arm.

"Be careful. Ohtori was looking a bit fragile on the way back to his room."

Shishido nodded. He figured that the junior might be a bit shaken after Atobe had cold-shouldered him for an hour before telling him to go away. As Oshitari moved along the corridor, the short-haired senior sighed. Only Shishido and Jiroh (quite by accident) knew about Ohtori's panic disorder. Oshitari and Hiyoshi knew _something_ was wrong but they couldn't pinpoint it. No one else was any the wiser. Nonetheless, the dash specialist was sure Ohtori was fine, due to the fact that he was taking his medication.

But somehow, the sight of Jiroh in front of Ohtori's door with both hands planted on the door and voice pleading set his alarms off. He thundered down the hall to where the narcoleptic stood.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm out of Tofranil, so I came to ask Ohtori if I could borrow one (2) but…I think he's having an attack. Shishido, I don't know what to do!"

"Move."

There was a slight fault with the lock, which both seniors were grateful for. Shishido twisted the doorknob as hard as he could, pressing his knee against where the bolt of the lock would be located. It popped open easily. The sight that met both Jiroh and Shishido's eyes was one that scared them. Ohtori lay curled around a pillow on the floor. One hand was tugging at his collar and he was whispering to himself, "I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Somebody help me…I can't breathe."

Panic attacks usually reached their worst point in ten minutes and judging from Jiroh's expression Ohtori had peaked and settled back again. This was just the aftermath of it and with every nanosecond, the repetition became less hurried. Neither third year could touch Ohtori for fear of sending him into another attack but they closed the door and sat near, out of his line of vision. Any change could make the attack worse than it already was. The junior began gulping air in hurried, deep breaths. His grip on the pillow loosened and he unfolded his body until he was simply resting on his side and breathing. Shishido gently brushed his fingers on his doubles partner's shoulder.

"Choutarou?"

Ohtori flinched and, for a second, Shishido felt hurt. Then the junior reached up, grabbed the retreating hand and pulled his senpai right off the bed. He crushed the shorter body to his and let loose a spectacular hiccup. Jiroh crossed his fingers and looked to the ceiling, praying that his kouhai wasn't about to cry again. Instead, the pale-haired boy spoke into his Shishido's cap at the inquiry about why he was having an attack.

"I thought Atobe-san would never forgive me. I…I thought he was going to destroy my whole life. Shishido-san, it was horrible."

Unseen by his kouhai but glaringly obvious to Jiroh, Shishido's expression darkened drastically.

-x-X-x-

**NOTES**

One of the side effects of Tofranil is that it makes you drowsy. So, while it stops Jiroh's cataplexy, it also makes him sleepy at the same time.

Ohtori also takes Tofranil to help suppress his attacks. The fact that he has one in this chapter shows that he has not been taking it. Panic attacks only return when the patient is not taking the drugs.

-x-X-x-

A/N: Saa, it was very OOC but please don't kill me!

NOW! VOTE: should Shishido tell Atobe about Ohtori's attack OR should Hiyoshi get a little lovin' and be the next Regular to find out? …….Also, should other schools make cameos or what?

Don't forget to review on your way out.

Dedicated to: my throat infection which M-chan claims makes me sound 'like Yukimura trying to hack a lung up'. Also dedicated to M-chan, who is in Tobago and therefore cannot beat me up over this and Ki-chan who is also in Tobago but not with M-chan and who will not read this because she 'has no interest' in Tenipuri (BLASPHEMY!!!). And dedicated to my Microsoft Encarta Reference Library (2003 Edition) for all the lovely info.

Info is from Microsoft Encarta Reference Library (2003 Edition) and www(dot)thesevenlines(dot)com.

-James the Insomniac


	2. Somnambulism

Chapter One: Somnambulism

Rating: M

This Chapter's Pairings: Dirty Pair, mentioned one-sided AtoTez

Warnings: swearing, mild…_something_ like yaoi, OOCness

The Title Meaning: Somnambulism means sleepwalking. This is both literal and metaphorical. Everyone is pretty much sleepwalking because they're so clueless.

Music: t.A.T.u's album Dangerous and Moving, especially the songs 'Sacrifice', 'Perfect Enemy' and the title song, 'Dangerous and Moving' (not the intro version); that song by Daughtry; the Bad Touch.

A/N: OKAY! The general consensus was that Hiyoshi needs a little lovin'. I say: Gladly, because _I_ actually like Hiyoshi (without a reason to…). And while yes, Britix, I'd love Shishido to bitchslap some sense into Atobe, that would require him to actually _tell_ Atobe about Ohtori's disorder. Hehehe…he won't find out yet. So…yeah, I went with the dorm room idea. I like those. Yeah…Oh! OH! I got 15 out of 17 commendations in my exams and the only two I didn't get were Music and PE. I don't like PE and it's the _theory_ of Music that I suck at. And Gakuto gets a nice little hunk of this chapter to himself (and Yuushi, too). Dirty pair is sex! I mean, love! Yeah, love, not sex!

I have a confession.

I had to stop as soon as I started typing this, just to watch the DVD my dear 'Aniki' burned for me. Linkin Park's video for 'One Step Closer' put me in a Hiyoshi-perspective sorta mood. And the one for 'Numb' and the one for 'Crawling' but those were less effective. "Paper Cut' is a really good song to go with this fic, even though no one's paranoid. If you want the lyrics, I'll send them to you if you want. I also ran to the living room because I thought there was tennis but it was the stupid Cricket World Cup. I HATE cricket. With a passion, too. It's so boring. Anywaaaaaaaay, let's do this thingy.

-x-X-x-

_"You want to try necking?"_

_"Nah."_

_"How 'bout now?"_

_"What if I say yes?"_

_"I'll hit you with this flashlight."_

_"Yes…ah shit, no! Please don't hit me!"_

_"…That is why you can't be Niou and I can't be Yagyuu, Ki-chan. Yagyuu wouldn't hit Niou and Niou might actually **like** getting hit."_ –Me and Ki-chan on Easter Monday at four in the morning, joking about my D1 fic. KiriharaAkaya knows what I'm talking about and soon, you will too!

-x-X-x-

"Yuushi, where were you? I hope you don't think I have all day to wait for your lazy ass, you know, because I don't."

"Calm down, Gakuto," Yuushi drawled lazily. "I forgot my glasses in the room, that's all. You're just like a little wife sometimes, always worrying about me."

"Forget it, then! You can just get acquainted with your hand for the next month because you won't get anything from me!" Gakuto shrieked, storming into the dining hall.

Yuushi just bit back a smirk as he followed his petite lover (A/N: I feel the irrational need to mention that I'm Gakuto's height, by the way. Five-three is _not_ short!) into the large room. The place was buzzing with conversation and the occasional squeal from the girls in the far corner. The tennis club members were scattered all over, from next to the salad bar (and Yuushi suddenly realized that he didn't _know_ they had one) to right at the door. He lagged behind Gakuto, listening to the irritated boy's little speech on how much he would get acquainted with his hand for his little stunt.

"Now, Gaku, you know I can't go anywhere without my glasses," he chided, whispering right into the acrobat's ear. "They complete me, just like you do."

"You love those bloody glasses more than you love _me_, Yuushi." Gakuto prodded a piece of meat before shrugging and putting it in his bowl.

Yuushi's lips twitched in amusement as he dropped some vegetables on top of his rice. He had realized why Gakuto was being so moody about it. "Gaku…are you _jealous_ of my _glasses_?"

"What?! Jealous of those cheap…things?! Of course not!"

"You are. Kami-sama, that's amusing."

Gakuto started to storm off but the tensai grabbed him around the waist and pulled him so that the acrobat collided with his chest. He stared at Gakuto until the shorter boy looked up, then spoke.

"Do I kiss my glasses everyday just because I feel like it? Do I cuddle my glasses in the evenings after dinner? Do I fool around with my glasses? Do I, Gaku?"

"Ii-iie."

"Do you know why?"

Gakuto shook his head.

"Because I _don't_ love my _glasses_, Gakuto, I love _you_."

A bright blush spread over Gakuto's cheeks before he slapped his empty hand (he still has his bowl) on Yuushi's chest. "Not in public, Yuushi! Your fanclub is taking pictures!"  
"Are they now? Let them take picture of this then."

With that, the tensai dipped his head and sealed his lips against his boyfriend's in a sound kiss. Gakuto struggled away.

"Stop doing that! It's embarrassing!" he snapped.

"Say what you will, Gaku, say what you will. Now, let's find a table, shall we?"

-x-X-x-

"Can we sit here, Hiyoshi?"

Hiyoshi Wakashi looked up from his book. "Huh? Yeah, whatever."

Shishido nodded his thanks and deposited a tired-looking Ohtori on the bench. Jiroh joined them with a bowl of salad, sliding in next to Hiyoshi. He mumbled something about a fifteen-minute nap after dinner. Hiyoshi didn't really notice, having already returned to his book. It was a translation of an American book called 'Thinner'. It was pretty good but, damn, he was confused. The end was confounding him to no end and he needed to re-read it. He barely heard the ongoing conversation.

"Ohtori-kun, why weren't you taking it?"

"It made me dizzy, Jiroh-san. Ano, could we not talk about this right now? This isn't the best place, you know." Ohtori rubbed his cheek and looked down at the table.

"Yeah, sure. Remind me that I have to take a fifteen-minute nap after dinner, would you? I called my therapist and she said I needed to start the regimen again." (1)

"You mean you stopped the regimen _and_ forgot to renew your Tofranil prescription?"

"Hai…please don't look at me like that, Ohtori-kun! Oooooh, Hiyoshi-kuuuuuuun, Ohtori's scaring meeeeeeee!" Jiroh latched on to the martial artist next to him.

Hiyoshi bristled slightly at being disturbed. "Akutagawa-senpai, I'm in the middle of something."

"You can replace the book!" Jiroh jumped onto the bench, placing one foot on the table, arms akimbo. "Jiroh-senpai is IRREPLACEABLE!"

Hiyoshi dropped the book slightly and was surprised (in a Hiyoshi-like fashion, of course) at the look on Ohtori's face. There was no real way to describe it, except if you called it 'scary'. Ohtori and scary were two things that generally didn't go together. And Hiyoshi didn't particularly feel like having that gaze on him, so he shrugged and went back to his book. Shishido could take care of it when he came back. After all, Ohtori listened to his doubles partner's every word. He practically hugged every word. Hiyoshi knew that was a strange thought. He also knew that he was strange.

Shishido returned just then, holding a bowl of salad in one hand and a container of onigiri in the other. He plunked down beside his doubles partner, sliding the salad to him, and looked up at Jiroh.

"I can see up your shorts," he said flatly, though his brown eyes glittered mischievously in the fluorescent light.

Jiroh hopped back to his seat, cheeks pink. "Ryou-kun, that's so mean!" (2)

Shishido grinned and bit into an onigiri. "Yeah. But it was the only way to get you to sit your ass on the bench."

"Hmph!" Jiroh folded his arms, closed his eyes and looked away in a way typical of Atobe. Then, he opened one eye and regarded Shishido's dinner with a growing smile. "Oh, ooooooh! Onigiri! You have to share, Shishido, you have to share! You hafta, hafta, hafta share with me! You'll share, right? Right???"

"You took that Tofranil from Ch…" Shishido glanced at Hiyoshi, who had finally shut the book. "You took it, right?"

"Yeah! Hai! I took it! Now, c'mon! Gimme one, I want one! Onegaaaaaaaaai?"

"Here, take." Shishido pushed the container to the middle of the table. "Hiyoshi."

Hiyoshi looked up.

"You can have if you want."

Hiyoshi blinked, as if in shock, then nodded. Generally, his teammates pretty much ignored him. With the exception of Atobe, of course, but that was only because Atobe wanted him to be the next buchou of Hyoutei's tennis club. Hiyoshi watched Ohtori nibble at the salad before glancing at Shishido.

Both Shishido and Jiroh were talking about their History homework, which Jiroh hadn't gotten since he had a scheduled nap at that time. Ohtori put his fork down and stared at it before letting out an inaudible sigh. Hiyoshi's eyes immediately darted back to his taller classmate. He took a deep breath. He was about to do something very Ohtori-esque and he wasn't sure if the other junior would appreciate it. He wasn't even sure he could do it, in any case. He took another deep breath. He might as well get it over with now.

"Ohtori…"

He almost lost his nerve when Ohtori looked up with mournful brown orbs.

He cleared his throat. "Is something wrong? You know, anything you want to talk about?"

Ohtori smiled sweetly. "Oh no, Hiyoshi-kun. Don't bother yourself about me."

Hiyoshi almost winced. His voice had come out completely deadpan. "I…well, since I'll be your roommate from next week, I figure we need to 'bond' or whatever. Not that I care." (3)

"R-roommate? Oh, I completely forgot about that…um…"

Ohtori then tugged urgently on Shishido's sleeve, leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Hiyoshi heard the little string of expletives that the senior muttered before whispering to Jiroh. Jiroh's eyebrows shot up and he looked at Hiyoshi. Hiyoshi _knew_ it was a bad idea to say anything. He knew he should have just shut his mouth and re-read Thinner, with all its gypsies and pie and fat people (Ki-chan says: go read it!). He shifted unnoticeably.

Shishido sighed. "You're really going to be his roommate, Hiyoshi?"

"Hai."

"Fuck me." The dash specialist lifted his cap off, ran his fingers through his hair and replaced the cap. "Look, then, we have to tell you this. If you tell _anyone_, I'll snap your neck. Got it?"

"…Hai." Hiyoshi blinked.

Shishido slid under the table to pop up at Hiyoshi's side. He leaned in and whispered, "Okay then…ah, Ohtori has panic disorder. He gets panic attacks sometimes. He takes Tofranil, the same thing Jiroh takes for cataplexy. Make sure he takes it and if you see doctor's appointments on his calendar, make sure he goes. If he has an attack, give him space and make sure no one bothers him. Stay out of sight and don't touch him until he's back to normal. You'll be able to tell when that is. And, uh, if he comes back from the doctor with a prescription for Valium or Xanax, tell him not to take it. Clear?"

Hiyoshi pushed Shishido slightly, so he wasn't in such close proximity. "Crystal."

-x-X-x-

"Mmm, Yuushi stop…" Gakuto moaned. "Stop it, Yuushi. Not now, please…Yuushi!"

Yuushi finally stopped nibbling on his boyfriend's ear. "Hm? What is it, Gaku?"

"I have this feeling...in my stomach…"

"You aren't going to throw up on my bed, are you?"

"Shut the hell up, Yuushi, I'm serious."

Gakuto pushed Yuushi back slightly, curling against him and sighing. He buried his face against the tensai's neck, fingers clenching on his boyfriend's elbow tightly. Yuushi's arms automatically slid around the acrobat in concern, asking what was wrong. Gakuto continued to breathe against his partner's skin, feeling the shivers run through his body.

"Gaku, what is it?"

"I think something's wrong with Ohtori."

"…Like what, exactly?"

"This afternoon, when he started to cry, Shishido completely built up something like a shield against Atobe. He's protective of Ohtori, yes, but this was just strange. Yuushi, what if it's deadly? What if Ohtori is dying?" Gakuto sat up. "I can't…why is this happening to us, Yuushi?"

Yuushi ran a hand over the acrobat's hair. "I don't know, Gaku. But if something _is_ wrong, we would be some of the first to know. We're Ohtori's friends."

The door suddenly slammed open and Atobe was suddenly in the room, screaming. "How dare he?! I am _just_ as good at tennis, if not better, than Fuji Syuusuke! And that Echizen brat too! Ore-sama will _not_ accept this! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! TEZUKA KUNIMITSU, I HOPE YOU BREAK YOUR LEG AND END UP INFERTILE! I HOPE YOU GET CASTRATED AND DIE!"

The door slammed closed again. Gakuto laughed a little, snuggling back against his lover's chest. Atobe's ridiculous outburst was a little bit of normality in the middle of a surreal day.

"How does Jiroh manage to keep up with the tennis?" Gakuto suddenly wondered aloud.

"Between his therapy and the pills, or so he says, it's enough. Sort of like…remember that senpai with the really bad asthma who had trouble breathing when we were in first year but he was a Regular anyway?"

"Hey, wasn't he the _buchou of that year_?"

"Hai. Jiroh's got an interminable love of life. I suppose that's why he does these things so willingly." Yuushi pushed Gakuto back slightly and began undoing the buttons of his boyfriend's shirt.

"Are we really doing this now?"

"Of course we are."

"But Yuushi…Shishido will be back in a few secondsssssssssssss…" Gakuto's words trailed into a hiss when Yuushi nipped his ear.

"More than likely he'll just go back out. He can sleep in your room if anything."

Yuushi moved his lips to Gakuto's, sucking the bottom lip into his mouth. Gakuto hummed, happily wriggling against him. The acrobat needed the comfort of something normal and having Yuushi tease him like he was seemed to be the best way. Yuushi reached down to the waistband of Gakuto's pants.

"Would this be fine?" he asked, trailing his lips down to his boyfriend's chest.

"You mean…all the way?"

"Yes. I want all of you, Gaku…"

Gakuto gasped as Yuushi tugged down his pants and underwear, one hand wrapping around his erection. He pushed his own hand at Yuushi's pants, rubbing his palm against the bulge. The tensai made a small, encouraging moan and crashed their lips back together. Slowly, Gakuto undid his boyfriend's pants and slid his hand into the boxers before pushing his tongue forcefully back against Yuushi's with a satisfied whimper.

"Gaku…" Yuushi asked, sounding only a little flustered. "What…do you want?"

"Mmmm…" Gakuto focused on the friction Yuushi was providing. Sliding up and down, up and down…thumb pressing over the slit at the head… "Fuck me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

-x-X-x-

"Shishido-san…" Ohtori cleared his throat. "Um…"

"Choutarou?" Shishido looked up at his doubles partner. "What's up?"

"Could you…" the boy paused to blush "Would you stay with me tonight? It's kind of lonely and I…I feel scared. What if I really _do_ suffo –" (4)

"No, Choutarou. Choutarou, look at me, you _won't_ suffocate. Let me get my clothes, okay, and we'll head down to your room."

"Okay, Shishido-san."

Shishido inwardly groaned, wishing that his partner wasn't so formal with him. They walked down to Shishido and Oshitari's room. Shishido opened the door, stopped and closed it. Ohtori frowned and reached out a hand. Shishido shook his head and raised a hand. He rapped a fist on the door.

"I'm coming in, you two, and Yoshioka-sensei is making his rounds downstairs! Finish up in the bathroom!"

There was some rustling, a loud moan followed by a muffled scream and then, Yuushi called, "We're decent."

Shishido flung the door open. "Yoshioka-sensei went home early today, by the way, but hey! Look, I helped you two reach orgasm in record time, ne? And on Mukahi's first time too! I'm just getting my stuff to stay with Ohtori tonight."

Gakuto almost flew at Shishido angrily but the sight of their innocent (_innocent-looking_) kouhai in the doorway made him pause. He was covered in only Yuushi's bedsheets, while Yuushi had slipped on his boxers and was helping Shishido gather his stuff. The tensai herded Shishido out with a polite 'Oyasumi' to Ohtori.

Ohtori bowed slightly and smiled. "Enjoy your night, senpai. I hope you two are in good shape for practice tomorrow. Oyasumi!"

Both Yuushi and Gakuto's mouths dropped open at the suggestive glint in their kouhai's eyes. The boy was no angel…no.

He was the fucking Devil himself.

-x-X-x-

A/N: I messed up Hiyoshi again, didn't I? I have trouble writing him, I realized, even with the fics I've read with him in them. Can someone recommend any fics so I can understand him better? And…Daughtry, shut the _fuck_ up! Props to the man for being successful but…shut up already! That's the third time in an hour I had to hear his song. And the Bad Touch just started to play. **_Anyway_**, in the last section, I made reference to a story I'm working on but haven't posted yet. First reviewer to guess the reference line gets a one-shot of any pairing with any theme. I will write anything except lemon. I'll even gender switch and write yuri if you want. Hint: Maybe he isn't what they thought he was. I'm not telling who the 'he' is. You have to guess that too.

_**Okay: next time, the Dirty Pair makes Jiroh play hooky!**_

KI-CHAN WROTE A FIC WITH ME! OMFG! It's a gender-switched!Rikkaidai and I think it's kinda OOC but if you wanna read it, I'll e-mail it to you (which means you'll have to give me your e-mail). The end is all my work, since she had to go home. I posted an Ohtori/Ibu on my lj. Go read it. KiriharaAkaya did and you should too. -bobs head- She is wise...you can be too!!!

**_NOTE_**: I don't know how soon I'll finish and post the third chapter because I have major exams almost all term, so please forego the 'update soon' for this review! I tend to lag a bit after the first chapter anyway…

NOTES

1)Sleep therapy is regimen of planned naps and bedtimes.

2)I think the seniors are close enough to call each other by their first names.

3)I fucked up Hiyoshi's character so much and I know it was lame but the only reasonable explanation for Hiyoshi finding out, short of Ohtori having an attack, was for him to become his roommate. God knows I couldn't write another attack so soon.

4)I think Ohtori's 'personal' panic is that he is afraid of suffocating. Reference first chap where he says he can't breathe.

Dedications: M-chan for getting me into this evil fandom of D-O-O-M! Ki-chan for finally coming around a little and reading yuripuri (lj community) with me, though she didn't see much in tenihime (another lj which rocked so much). And my father, for reading a snippet of my D1 and somehow not getting confused by the switch. And…my mother for understanding the joy of reviews. And…

SPECIAL DEDICATION to my Aniki, Matthew, who does not read. He provided the music videos that kick-started this chapter.

-James the Yuri Fan. (Why are my A/Ns so long???????)


	3. Hooky

Chapter Two: Hooky

Rating: M

This Chapter's Pairings: Dirty Pair, Golden Pair cameo (surprisingly enough, I haven't yet written this…like as a main pairing…), one-sided JiAto **one-sided HiyoTori**.

Warnings: swearing, making-out, violence and OOCness.

The Title Meaning: Hooky is the informal word for truancy which isabsence, especially from school, without permission. It speaks for itself.

Music: Brave and Body Crumbles and Ordinary and Velvet Elvis by Dry Cell; Razorblade Kiss and Gone With the Sin by HIM; Attila by Iced Earth; a bunch of songs by In Flames.

A/N: **Kyaaaaaa! I managed to get another chapter in before exams. Squeeeeee!**

So…no one discovers anything here. It's something I hate: a filler. But it's a _stupid_ filler, lighter than most of the chapters _in terms of angst_. There's lotsa stupidity. The writing style will be different for every chapter, depending on my mood and the content. **This is where the AtoJi **_**begins**_**, so you need to read it.** Atobe is still stuck on Tezuka, though. That will stop soon but I'm not sure how to incorporate the actual AtoJi…well, I have a term of pretending to study to think it up, ne? This may actually be my last chapter before exams. **As of mid-May, everything is ON HIATUS! If anyone has requests, I will not write them.**

Here's my schedule: May 21 Info Tech Exam, May 22 to May 28 Practicals, May 22-June 16 Midterms, June 18-29 NCSE National Exams.

Not that anyone cares, but my first-choice subjects are: Math (mandatory), English A/Language (mandatory), English B/Literature (mandatory), French, History, Biology, Spanish, Geography. As an extra, I chose Info Tech.

**I will be posting again in July.** So I love you all and until then, settle for Jiroh playing hooky with the Dirty Pair_. Also, check out the Dry Cell songs here._ I keep thinking of an AU where Tenipuri characters make a tribute band for them. _They are AWESOME!_

Disclaimer: I forgot this in the last two chapters. Whattabitch. Not mine. Konomi-sensei's. Yes? Yes.

-x-X-x-

_"Are you gay?"_

_"I'm at work right now."_ – A friend and another friend's friend on the phone.

-x-X-x-

Akutagawa Jiroh, even before his diagnosis, had never been an early riser. He hated waking up early. In fact, he hated waking up. There was something oddly comforting about losing himself to the lazy fog of dreams, even if said dreams consisted of Atobe. Who never seemed to be wearing much in the dreams. Another problem with waking up was sleep paralysis. He stirred and opened his eyes but for a full minute, he couldn't move. He wiggled a toe experimentally to ensure that it was safe to move. Before, the paralysis had caused fear that he'd never move again but after Ohtori…

"Get up, Jiroh! It's going to be a _great_ day!" Gakuto bounced down onto his roommate's bed. "We're skipping school, come on! Great your junk outta the bunk and let's get our wheels rolling!"

"Mrrrrrrr?" Jiroh questioned, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "What're you talking about, Gakuto?"

"Yuushi and I are taking you out for the day. We were going to bring goddamned Shishido along but he wrecked the loss of my virginity, so…it's just us three. It's Saturday anyway and what do we care about tennis today? Atobe's all hung up on the fact that Tezuka outright rejected him because he already had _two_ boyfriends. It's just like that time with that fucking chick-man Yukimura and then that time with that fruit Mizuki and the time with that stiff Sanada and the last time when he tried to proposition Shishido. Man, Shishido actually fucking decked him." (1)

Jiroh stripped as he walked across the room. Gakuto would ask him what he had to hide if he tried to cover up and Jiroh had been numbed again by the news of Atobe's latest infatuation. Pulling on clothes that looked decent and didn't stink (he'd forgotten to do his laundry), he sat before the mirror to do the Hyoutei-boy grooming. He checked for bags under his eyes and combed his hair into perfect messiness. It looked as it always did and he wondered why he didn't just go out with bed hair. He had sexy bed hair (2). He popped a morning Tofranil into his mouth, swallowing with some water he always kept near his bed.

"I'm ready," he announced, allowing the acrobat to pull him down the hall.

It was still dark outside and Yuushi was waiting by the back fence, looking lazy. He lifted a slight smile for Jiroh before beginning to climb. Despite the school's richness, there was little security. Gakuto followed suit and Jiroh was the last to begin the climb, fingers curling into the chain link and the toes of his sneakers fitting precariously into the holes. Once at the top, he swung one leg over, finding his footing, then the other. Yuushi suddenly whispered something incomprehensible and Jiroh saw the beam of a flashlight. He let his legs drop, then released the fence, landing in a crouch. Before he could move, the beam moved in his direction. He threw himself flat on the grass. And prayed. Please, oh _please_, don't let the guard notice him lying there.

Luckily for Jiroh, it turned out to be one of the day-girls sneaking in to see her boyfriend. He sighed and darted over to Yuushi and Gakuto. They were waiting for him and Gakuto gave a dramatic squeal of excitement at the prospect of Jiroh's near-capture. How _interesting_! Oh, this was promising to be a long day. Also, Jiroh wasn't looking forward to suffering Atobe's wrath. Hopefully, he would sleep through the yelling. Or maybe he would remember that Atobe liked Tezuka and he just wouldn't _care_.

-x-X-x-

Hiyoshi dropped his bags in exhaustion. He had been forced to carry his things down four flights of stairs and into Dormitory C, to the third floor. At last, he had reached his destination. The worst part, he found, was the fact that it wasn't even seven yet. He had gotten up at six to start his move, he had arrived and – from the sound of it – Ohtori was just waking up. Steeling himself for any possible indecency, he knocked on the door and used his key.

Ohtori was already dressed, standing in front of the full-length mirror. Hiyoshi's eyes slid to _his_ (new) bed, where Shishido was sitting to put on his shoes. Ohtori swiveled and put his hands up.

"Hiyoshi-kun! It's not what you think! It –"

"I'll leave you two alone now…" Hiyoshi swung the door closed.

…

"Damn." There went any last shred of hope that Hiyoshi could date the most normal person on the team (3).

-x-X-x-

"That was a total waste of our morning, Yuushi," Gakuto groaned. "I think the horror would have been a much better way to spend the day. What do you think, Jiroh?"

Jiroh collapsed onto the grass next to the redhead. "I think…I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when it's time to go."

With that, his eyes dropped closed and his breathing evened out. Yuushi and Gakuto just blinked before grinning at each other. Gakuto crawled around Jiroh and straddled his boyfriend's lap.

"You know, Yuushi, it's kind of nice to just sit here on your lap."

Yuushi's face fell. "Just sit there?"

"Although…maybe a _little_ kiss would okay."

Yuushi's grin returned full-force. "Now, Gaku-tan (4), I would appreciate it if you did not use that husky tone with me."

With those words, he tilted his head down to Gakuto's, lips sliding together and apart. Gakuto's small hands came up to hold Yuushi's face.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" a tenor voice asked.

"Looks like a couple of fags, Nii-san. Let's hurt them!" an even higher voice replied.

Yuushi and Gakuto broke apart. A boy in a Seishun uniform, accompanied by an elementary school student, loomed over them.

"The redhead…he's pretty."

Yuushi threw Gakuto behind him. "Don't touch him."

-x-X-x-

Atobe slammed his hands on the desk. "And what, pray tell, did you do?! You should have walked away, Oshitari. No! You decided to fight. And do you care to explain why Jiroh jumped into the fray? Because I would really like to hear your explanation!"

-x-X-x-

Yuushi had decided to punch the Seishun boy. Unfortunately, Tezuka's stubborn masochistic streak seemed to run through _all_ of the Seigaku students, because the boy fought back (5). The boy had friends. Lots of them. Yuushi had been cuffed and kicked and Gakuto could only bite and scream as they closed in on him. Until Jiroh.

Jiroh, contrary to popular belief, did not sleep heavily. As soon as he'd heard his roommate and friend's scream, his eyes had snapped open. He sat up and seeing the treatment his teammates were getting, he lunged at the one who had started everything. Now, he wasn't psychic. That was the thug who just happened to be nearest. Jiroh had never fought before, with the exception of mock-fights over cake with Gakuto. But he had tried. Just as he felt like he was going to drop dead, a savior arrived in the form of the Golden Pair.

"TAKAHASHI-KUN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Kikumaru grabbed the offender's wrist. "Do you really feel that strongly against gay people?"

"It's sickening," Takahashi replied, blinking.

"Really now? Because, you know, _I'm_ gay, nya." Kikumaru grinned. "Do you hate me? Do you think Oishi and I are sickening?"

"Takahashi-kun, the rest of you, we will discuss this on the way back to school," Oishi said gently. "This will be resolved."

Takahashi balked. "Whatever."

-x-X-x-

Upon seeing his senpais all beaten up, Ohtori had started to wheeze. Shishido emitted a loud 'oh fuck!' and Hiyoshi was, unfortunately, Ohtori's pillow. Because, well…Ohtori fainted dead away after a few seconds. And so, they had ended up in Atobe's office next to the clubroom.

"I will attempt to explain this to Kantoku. Otherwise, you three are on your own. You will be lucky to remain on the Regulars. You are dismissed."

Atobe might have been imagining it but…he could have sworn that Jiroh shot a glare at him on the way out. Jiroh was always there. He used Atobe as a pillow, talked to him when he was obsessing and no one else could stand it. Jiroh was almost his best friend, he realized. Maybe he could be more? No. Atobe shook his head. There was no way he could date Jiroh. Jiroh was simply not good enough.

-x-X-x-

A/N: Omigod, that SUCKED! I had a hard time writing it and I didn't even re-read most of it. It's so short. _BUT_ there's going to be a lot of referencing with Ohtori's fainting and Jiroh's numbness.

I have a little good news, though!

If I'm good with my elastics (hatred!!!!!!), I'll get my braces off in July! Yeeeeeeah!

NOTES

1)I could not resist. I had to put a little one-sided AtoShishi in there.

2)Arigatou to my Ki-chan, who gave me the sexy bed hair line. She says hers is, so whatever.

3)I don't know it this is serious or not, the HiyoTori. I _do_ know that I like threesomes.

4)The –tan comes from Yuushi's Kansai accent, so he says –tan instead of –chan.

5)Face it. Tezuka is a fucking masochist. I don't buy that 'I did it for the team' bullshit.

DEDICATIONS: Ki-chan for her bed hair, M-chan for prompting me to finish even after days and days of no inspiration, Golden Sun II because it is _awesome_ and Piers and Felix are made for each other, Harvest Moon because it's addicting but boring, Digimon Season Two for letting me and Ki-chan bring out the fact that Tai and Matt (yeah, dub names. Sue me!) are so gay for each other without it being shota.

So there's me and I suck and I feel so depressed and I'm going to listen to Dry Cell and write some Silver Trio (Hiyoshi, Ohtori and Shishido! There's some on livejournal but you have to really search) and attempt to divide Yukimura-kun into two equal parts for Sanada and Aka-chan because I can't decide what to do in the following fic.

**IMPORTANT! FIC IDEA! WILL WRITE IF PEOPLE LIKE!**

Ohtori is in a tribute band, which was formed by Niou. Hiyoshi is a writer who only gets stuff published in Inui and Yanagi's magazine and has an annoying editor (in his opinion) called O-shi-ta-ri Yuu-shi. Shishido is a model who is currently giving the tabloids a lot to work with by switching out of one agency without permission into another. And there's a little suspicious café nearby where everyone keeps meeting up.

Band members: Niou (vocals), Sanada (vocals), Ohtori (manager, synth), Mizuki (producer), Tezuka (guitar), Yuuta (bass) and Kaidoh (drums).

Magazine people: Yuushi (Hiyoshi's editor), Hiyoshi, Yagyuu (editor-in-chief and published author), Inui and Yanagi (owners), Dan (Yagyuu's idiot assistant).

Shishido's OLD agency: Sakaki (owner), Gakuto, Yukimura, Atobe, Kamio, Shinji, Fuji Syuusuke (photographer), Kabaji (Atobe's assistant).

Shishido's NEW agency: Hanamura (owner), Shishido, Kajimoto, Youhei, Kouhei, Ryoma, Tachibana (photographer).

Café: Kirihara (waiter), Sengoku (owner), Eiji (waiter), Ann (cashier), Jiroh (waiter), Yumiko (baker).

Music Company: Tezuka (intern), Mizuki (intern), Kevin (boss' son), Griffy brothers (guests, idols, models), Ryoga (guest, managing his brother's career), Oishi (intern), Ann (newbie), Ryuuzaki (senior executive).

OTHERS: Wakato (amateur model w/out an agency), Momoshiro (Ohtori's temporary assistant), Nanjiroh (still the old pervert monk, kiddies!), Akutsu (drug-pusher to models, bike messenger).

**END IMPORTANT FIC IDEA BEFORE I SPOIL IT!**

So, yeah.

-James.


	4. Doctrinaire

Chapter Three: Doctrinaire

Rating: M

This Chapter's Pairings: hinted YuushiOhtori (not really anything serious), one-sided OMC (male OC)/Ohtori (it's _just_ a guy in his therapy group, no one important), some complimentary _AtoShishi_ and fluffy _GakuJi_, **Oshitari Kenya/Oshitari Yuushi: past**.

Warnings: swearing, hints at wishes of self-mutilation, _**OOCness because I've never written Kenya before**_, first-cousin incest.

The Title Meaning: somebody who is determined to follow a particular theory or method and refuses to consider alternate approaches. Ohtori is a doctrinaire.

Music: Minerva, Shove It, Change, White Pony, Passenger, Nosebleed, Kill Yourself, Blind, Bored and Hole In The Earth (all by Deftones)!

A/N: This was started the week before midterms so whatever, even if I don't post this for a while, at least I worked on it…right? M-chan is learning about _Golden Sun_ which makes me so happy! Because the Alex/Felix, Piers/Felix, Alex/Piers and Alex/Felix/Piers pairings are just…oh good God. And just BTW, In Flames is good to listen to while you study. And Dry Cell too. NEVER FEAR THE TRIBUTE BAND FIC IS ON ITS WAY!!! …Eventually!

And there's a Shitenhouji cameo from…Oshitari Kenya!!!

Anyway, yeah. **NOTE: This chapter goes back and forth between the fic's present and Yuushi's past without italics…so…don't get CONFUSED!**

Disclaimer: No. Non. Niet. Iie.

-x-X-x-

_I am perfectly normal…having an Inner Voice is perfectly normal…_

-Me.

-x-X-x-

"Yuushi, you don't have to go in. You can come back to the dorms and we'll hang out like we usually do. Come on, please. You don't need to go there. You don't have anger issues, unless…ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME SOMETHING?"

"I have to go. Love you." Yuushi sighed, pulling the phone away from his ear and hanging up. "…If only you knew, Gakuto. If only you knew."

-x-X-x-

Oshitari Yuushi, aged eleven, had a fierce temper. Most people never noticed it, of course, because he hid it under a charming smile and fashionable glasses. The only people who knew about it were his cousin and a homophobe who stepped way out of line. It actually happened to be during summer when his temper flared for the first time. Now, homophobes really got his blood boiling, considering that both he and Kenya were gay. If their families had been more traditional, that would have been a problem. However, Yuushi's older sister was perfect to carry on the Oshitari line, so they left the boys alone. Unless they decided to tease them. Also, their childless aunt was expecting a boy... Yuushi's parents were geared up to move to Tokyo, so it was the last summer they would have together in Osaka.

It had been a normal day for the two boys. They went to a movie. Kenya insisted on the horror, joking that he'd always wanted to have his cousin draped over his shoulders in fright. Yuushi never figured out whether or not Kenya was serious. They had lunch at a small café that they'd found years before, tucked into a small alley. Following that, they went ahead with their favorite activity: people-watching at the open-air bazaar. The open-air bazaar was a once-a-year event (1) and everyone took advantage of that, saving money all year to splurge.

People-watching was fun for both boys, who would often find something interesting about the drabbest businessman there and they would make up stories, giving the people names and families.

"That one, the balding one," Kenya whispered conspiratorially. "Let's name him…Daisuke. I bet Daisuke has a pretty, young thing of a wife. Every night, he goes home and she's made soba. Every night, she goes to 'drop some food for the homeless' and comes back still looking winded."

Yuushi let out a snort. "I think he's a widower, stuck living with his kook of a mother-in-law. She has multiple chins and a big old pot-spoon that she waves around when she's talking. He doesn't even talk once he's gotten onto his street."

Kenya gave smile at that and ruffled Yuushi's hair, drawing a dark pout from the tensai. "Only you, Yuushi. Man…hey…can I ask you something?"

Sensing a sudden change in his cousin's mood, Yuushi nodded. "Sure."

"If we…" Kenya shook his head. "Never mind."

"Kenya?"

"No…it's nothing, Yuushi."

"You're lying. Something's wrong, I feel it."

"You always were sensitive to people's problems. It's part of what makes you special, I guess. But seriously, nothing's wrong."

"Hmm…" Yuushi shrugged. "You're special too, Kenya. Come on, it's time to start heading back."

"Eh?" Kenya bounded after his bespectacled cousin. "But sunset is hours away."

"There's a spot in the park I want to show you."

For some reason, Kenya's cheeks blazed red for a second. "In the park?"

"Yeah!" Yuushi tugged his cousin along. "The sunset from there is really nice. Come _on_, Ken-tan, or we won't get there in time!" (2)

-x-X-x-

"Hey, Ohtori-kun…" Seijurou dragged his chair into the circle. "Haven't seen you in group therapy for a while."

Ohtori tried to smile. "I had two bad attacks in one day, so Shishido-san suggested I come back." (3)

"Shishido-san's a nice guy but he's got a temper from what I hear. Are you sure you should be hanging around him?" Seijurou placed his hand on Ohtori's knee in a seemingly friendly manner. "He might be a bad influence."

Ohtori brushed the older boy's hand away causally. He didn't feel too polite today. "This from the suicidal narcissist."

"Feisty today, aren't we?"

The therapist clicked her tongue disapprovingly at the last words, shaking her head. Everyone was just settling down, still catching up with people from the last week or people who had dropped out of therapy earlier on. There was a buzz, though, because the 'new kid' had yet to enter the room.

At last, the door opened. "Is this group two?"

"Yes, it is." The therapist nodded. "Please come in, Oshitari-kun."

A tall boy with dark blue hair and glasses entered. His gaze locked with that of a taller, silver-haired boy.

"Oshi-Oshitari-san…what are you d-doing here?" Ohtori asked, eyes widening.

"Enough catching up," Seijurou complained. "_I_ only have so long."

Yuushi sat in the vacant chair on Ohtori's right. He frowned at his kouhai, "Fancy seeing you here."

-x-X-x-

"You were right…the sunset is really great from here." Kenya rolled onto his side, looking at Yuushi with a pensive expression.

"Ken-tan?"

"Yuushi…if we weren't cousins, would you consider me as a prospective boyfriend?"

Yuushi sat up slightly, leaning back on his forearms and still lower than his cousin. He frowned quizzically. "What's all this? Why are you –"

"Just answer my question."

"You're nice to people you like, I know you would beat up someone I didn't like for me…and you have a cute nose." Yuushi flicked Kenya's nose at that point. "I would."

"…You're not just messing with me, right?"

"What's going on, Kenya? Tell me now."

Yuushi never got a response because his cousin laid a sudden, long kiss on him. He had never expected to lose his first kiss to his _cousin_ of all people, especially since they…well, _they were cousins_. At age eleven, Yuushi realized that Kenya had kissed people before. At age eleven, Yuushi twined his fingers into his cousin's hair and kissed back. It was a little sloppy but Kenya seemed to enjoy it. The bleached blonde guided his tongue between his younger cousin's (4) lips gently, taking smooth control over the kiss.

-x-X-x-

"Okay, Ohtori-kun, it's finally your turn," the therapist smiled. "Why are _you_ in therapy and what can you do to help your disorder?"

Yuushi glanced at his kouhai. The tall boy started to tremble violently.

"I have…" he began, "I have panic…NOTHING is wrong with me! I'm normal! Oshitari-san, I don't need to be here!"

Murmurs rippled along the circle and the therapist looked shocked. Ohtori had never gotten an attack in the middle of therapy but he was slipping into one very quickly. Seijurou watched with a detached but interested expression, chuckling to himself. Yuushi put a hand on Ohtori's shoulder. The boy looked up.

"If you don't want me to tell anyone, Ohtori-kun, it's fine. Nobody has to know that you need therapy…for panic disorder."

"How did you…" Ohtori began to calm down.

"I've met quite a few people with panic disorder, don't worry. I won't say anything."

"Thank you, Oshitari-san." He looked at the therapist. "There is _nothing_ I can do about my disorder. I'm always going to have it, sensei." (5)

The therapist cleared her throat. "Now that that is done, would you tell us what made you realize you had anger management problems, Oshitari-kun?"

Brushing his fingers over Ohtori's shoulder one more time, softly, Yuushi gave a tight smile. "I suppose I don't have a choice."

"No, not really."

Yuushi leaned against Ohtori lightly for support, slightly amused at the blush that filled his kouhai's face, and began.

-x-X-x-

"Well, well," Atobe drawled. "What have we here?"

Shishido looked up from his Latin textbook (6). "What do you want, Atobe?"

Atobe sat on the grass beside the dash specialist and sighed. "Ore-sama needs entertainment. It's Saturday afternoon, Shishido, why are you studying? And Latin, of all things?"

"I happen to _like_ Latin." Shishido shut his book. "And well, Choutarou's not around. Aren't you supposed to be chasing Tezuka-san or something?"  
"That did not work out in Ore-sama's favor." Atobe shook his head.

"Atobe, you can drop the Ore-sama thing around me. I used to be one of your best friends, remember? You don't need to pretend that you're over-confident. I wish I knew what happened to you. One day we were friends, the next day you acted like I wasn't there." Shishido dropped the book and leaned against the wall of the library more fully.

"I don't know myself," Atobe said, unconsciously obeying Shishido, "I can't even remember why we began fighting. It's a bit stupid, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a bit, watching the trees and buildings that surrounded them. It was comfortable, the silence of two friends spending quality time together after a long time apart. Finally, Shishido was struck by a lightning bolt of curiosity.

"How did you know I would be here?"

Atobe smiled, a faint curve rather than his usual smirk. "You always hid behind the library when we were younger because no one looked for you there. I would find you there, curled up and sleeping. You looked so cute."

It came as a shock when Atobe suddenly leaned over and kissed him. Shishido opened his mouth to gasp and Atobe's tongue slid in, muffling any sounds. Shishido's subconscious raged but his hands clutched the taller boy's shoulders tightly, squeezing and pulling them both to lie on the grass. Atobe winced into the kiss but allowed his hands to slide under Shishido's untucked school shirt. He wasn't thinking that this was his former best friend; he just kept kissing and running his hands over smooth skin. He wanted to pretend that this was Tezuka but the slender form, the lack of height and the location prevented that. Shishido, meanwhile, kept telling himself to do something, to make Atobe stop…but he just arched into the soft touches on his stomach and chest.

"Wait…" he managed to get out.

Atobe paused, eyes boring into the dash specialist's. "Hmm?"

"I can't do this." His body refused to work with his mind, arching up when Atobe's fingers brushed over a nipple. "I can't…nnnh."

Atobe pulled back completely, admiring his handiwork. "I…don't know what came over me. But…thank you. For not hitting me this time."

"Yeah, you're welcome. It's…fine. I kind of need to clear my head right now, Atobe. Do you mind?"

"No. I'll go." With that, Atobe left.

Shishido took a moment to assess the damage. There were no marks on his skin but the back of his shirt was damp and dirty from lying on the ground. He was hard (and he was sure Atobe was too). His lips felt swollen and it made him feel somehow cheated that _Atobe_ had been the one to jump him behind the library. Who was he expecting? _Certainly not Choutarou_. The boy was practically a saint. Not to mention, he was probably straight in any case. It wouldn't do to turn into an Atobe, daydreaming about people he couldn't have.

-x-X-x-

Kenya was the one to break off the kiss, pulling back. "I…sorry. Yuushi, that wasn't supposed to happen."

"Wasn't it?" a voice suddenly sneered. "Look here…a couple of little fags."

Both cousins scrambled to their feet to see a teenager leering at them. He smiled nastily and steeped toward them. "Hmm…you're a pretty little blondie, aren't you?"

The teenager touched Kenya's hair. Kenya went rigid when the boy yanked his hair and called him names but Yuushi wouldn't stand there and watch. He refused to let his cousin be mistreated.

"Don't fucking touch him!" he yelled, using a word he'd heard his sister use quite often. He knew what it meant. "Get your filthy hands away from him!"

The teenager whirled Yuushi leaped at him, punching and kicking. He screamed all the bad words he'd heard, even when the boy fought back. But the tensai wouldn't let go. He sank his teeth into the boy's hand when he tried to slap him and punched some more. Even when Kenya lunged forward, trying to pull his cousin back, he kept hitting. At last, the teenager managed to scramble back.

"You're crazy! You…I got beat by a kid!" he yelled, running away.

Yuushi's elbow drove into Kenya's stomach accidentally as he struggled to get away and the blonde let out a grunt. That stopped Yuushi, who went limp, suddenly exhausted. Both boys toppled onto the ground and Kenya let out a surprised yelp when Yuushi suddenly shoved his face against his neck and started to cry. The younger boy let out a string of apologies and Kenya just lay there, arms around his cousin from when he was trying to restrain him, unsure of what to do. Finally, he pushed his cousin up and followed.

"Yuushi, let's get you cleaned up and go home."

"I'm a bad person, aren't I? I wanted to kill that guy, Kenya, for calling you names. I'm a horrible person."

"Let's just forget all about it, Yuushi. No one can know why this happened. We'd both get hell from the family. We should just leave it alone."

Yuushi nodded. "Yeah."

Kenya threw an arm over his cousin's shoulders. "Come on, don't be like that. Let's just call it a day and…hey! Look, we'll go see the guys tomorrow."

"I guess."

"…Stop being such a wet blanket."

Yuushi finally gave a little grin.

-x-X-x-

Jiroh lay on his bed. Gakuto lay on _his_. They were bored and worried, under 'house arrest' for their little escapade the day before. Something was eating away at Gakuto. Finally, the feisty redhead made a leap from his bed to Jiroh's.

"You like Atobe, don't you?" Gakuto asked nosily.

Jiroh cracked open one eye, giving up on trying to take a nap. "Yeah."

Gakuto shuffled against Jiroh in a silent gesture for a hug. Jiroh readily gave one, wrapping his arms around the petite acrobat. Gakuto breathed against Jiroh's neck, just happy to have his friend there.

"I'm worried about Yuushi," he admitted quietly. "I think there's something he isn't telling me."

Jiroh frowned. "Cheer up, Gakuto! I'm sure if it's important, he'll tell you. You two are closer than Shishido and Ohtori-kun even are. He loves you so much; I can see his eyes light up when you two are together. And he defended you yesterday, didn't he?"

"I guess." Gakuto nuzzled the blonde's neck in thanks, drawing a giggle from his friend.

"Don't do that, it tickles."

"Thanks for the comfort, though, Jiroh…" Gakuto pressed his lips to Jiroh's collarbone in a thank-you kiss.

The narcoleptic's breath caught in his throat and he made a little sound of approval. Even if it was Gakuto, it still felt nice to be kissed. Gakuto realized how down his friend had been and straddled his hips, kissing him on the lips gently. Jiroh kissed back innocently, just touching his lips to the redhead's repeatedly with little pressure. He reached up to place his hands on the slim hips and Gakuto hummed, biting on Jiroh's bottom lip. They continued like this for a few minutes before Gakuto finally started moving his kisses along Jiroh's jawline. The kisses were light, just enough for Jiroh to feel but not enough to send tingles through him. Jiroh sighed and pulled Gakuto back up to his lips for another kiss.

Gakuto's hands slid into blond tangles, his lips pressing harder onto his friend's until he finally pulled back. "Better, Jiroh?"

"Mm-hmm. Much better."

They settled back into a normal hug and, about an hour later, the door opened.

Gakuto shot up. "Yuushi! It's not…"

Yuushi waved a hand. "That's fine. We need to talk, Gaku-tan. I haven't been completely honest with you."

Jiroh gave the redhead a little push, nodding.

Yuushi took Gakuto's hand and led him away from the room. Jiroh rolled onto his side and eyed the mirror on the opposite wall. He wondered, vaguely what would happen if he broke it and tried to cut himself with one of the shards. A light smile drifted across his face. Other than worry for Ohtori and the small happiness he'd had while kissing Gakuto, he felt hollow. Even if he wasn't chasing Tezuka anymore, Atobe was still far from his reach. Jiroh shook the suicidal thoughts from his head. No. For a moment, he was alone. Then Hiyoshi burst into the room and informed him that Yuushi now knew about Ohtori's panic disorder.

Jiroh shot up from his bed with a loud 'What?!' Hiyoshi nodded and told him all about Ohtori and Yuushi's little therapy session. If Jiroh didn't know better, he'd say that Hiyoshi was feeling bitter today. But Hiyoshi was always bitter about something. Like him. Funny how things worked, wasn't it?

-x-X-x-

A/N: Aw, hell yeah! I finished this in two days. I forgot to turn on the laptop on Wednesday and yesterday I was reading stuff so I finished and edited today. Guess what? The huge exams start Monday. I'm not studying as you might have guessed. If anyone plays Golden Sun: The Lost Age, tell me how to get out of Air's Rock, would you? I've got Felix, Sheba and Jenna running around like headless chickens right now. I WANT PIERS, DAMMIT!

Anyways, expect more posts from me today. I'm going crazy, finishing things because, even though it's Friday, it's the staff retreat so I got the day off from school. Me and Ki-chan wrote more Rikkai fiction, not gender-switched but I have to type it up and stuff. By the end of July, it'll be on my lj. END OF JULY! Oh! The reason for all the **snogging** (XD!) in this chapter is that I listened to Deftones. Deftones makes me write horny things.

…Just offhand, if I made an RP community for this fic on lj, would anyone join??? I mean, yeah it's unfinished, but I like RPs. So let me know in your review and if I could get one or two co-mods if we're gonna go with it?

Ciao!

-James.

1)I made up the open-air bazaar, just BTW.

2)They're eleven, let Yuushi call Kenya -tan.

3)The first was the attack at the end of the prologue, the other happened between chapters one and two when Shishido spent the night.

4)M-chan was unhelpful and I was lazy so I don't know which cousin is older.

5)Sensei can be used for doctors, even though therapists don't have to have the doctor title (trust me, I know this)

6)I am enamored with the idea of Shishido doing Latin. Even if it ain't canon. What in this fic is?

Dedications: M-chan for Kenya info, Ki-chan for listening, my original story characters for helping me get inspired.


	5. Quietude

Chapter Four: Quietude

Rating: M

This Chapter's Pairings: more AtoJi hints, Dirty Pair, _AtoShishi_, one-sided ToriShishi

Warnings: drug abuse, swearing

Title Meaning: Quietude is calmness and tranquility

Music: Minutes to Midnight album from Linkin Park

A/N: I didn't really know what to do with this chapter so…

**BIG NEWS: Jirou has an LJ. Which needs updating but whatever.**

Anyway, this is the _Kabaji_ chapter. Le gasp! And he's not telling Atobe? Bad Kabaji, bad Kabaji…that's right. Kabaji's keeping it from Atobe. Too bad Ohtori couldn't keep it from Kabaji, ne? Unfortunately…it only takes, like…one paragraph. I couldn't so anything better.

-x-X-x-

_"Why?"_

_The fear came back. __**Rena-chan said the probabilities of her taking me back at this point –**__ "I… I didn't think I was right… right for you, I mean. You do so much for me and it feels like-"_

_"Am I __**deaf**__ or something? Why didn't you just __**tell**__ me? I mean, you told me about that time when you got mad at your dad and hit him and you didn't want to go home. You tell me about everything, Mai-__**san**__. You talk to me about every problem except this one, which actually __**concerns me**__."_

_"I'm sorry. I… I didn't want to burden. I burden you because… well, because I love you. And I didn't want to stop… I-I __**don't**__ want to stop loving you."_

_"Why would you have to stop? Where did you get the idea that I would want you to stop loving me? Have I ever indicated that I want to break up?"_

_"N-No, I didn't say that Hiroe-chan! I was just saying…I think I'm a burden…"_

_"If you're a burden, you're one I'm happy to bear. I don't see what could make you a burden, either, but you make it seem like I should break up with you, Mai-__**san**__. Is that what you want?"_

_"No! It's not! It's just – Why do you put up with me? It's not true what I said before, lots of people with brains want to go out with you. Lots of people want to go out with you __**full stop**__. Why me?"_

_"Because I love you and I don't want someone else."_

_"But you could do so much better…"_

_"Stop! What do you want, Mai? Tell me exactly what it is you want!"_

_"I want you to be happy."_

_Mai was about to walk out when she found herself with an armful of Yagyuu Hiroe. "Hi-Hiroe-chan?"_

_"I __**am**__ happy, damn you. I think you need glasses, Mai-chan."_

-Excerpt from my and Ki-chan's genderswitch.

-x-X-x-

"Jiroh…wake up…Jiroh. JIROH!"

Jiroh rolled off of his bed with a loud thump. "Prrrrrrrrr? Ow."

Gakuto shook his head and helped the blonde up. He was frowning, obviously worried about something.

"What's wrong?" Jiroh yawned. "Something happened when Oshitari pulled you out of here. I can tell."

"He _does_ have anger management problems," Gakuto murmured, sinking onto Jiroh's bed with a sigh. "His first kiss was with his cousin Kenya."

"That bothers you," Jiroh stated, changing.

For a while, only the Sunday morning wind replied. Jiroh didn't pressure his friend into answering. Gakuto had to sort his thoughts before he spoke, unless he wanted to say something that he wouldn't say otherwise. The acrobat made several false starts, each denying that he was bothered. Finally, he growled and told Jiroh the truth about the whole mess.

"Yeah. It does." Gakuto stood. "I told Yuushi as much. He just nodded and went back to his room. Have you heard anything from Shishido? Yuushi said he didn't come in until late and then left again. Apparently didn't say anything either."

"No…he didn't call my mobile and I didn't think to call his."

Jiroh joined Gakuto on the bed, slipping an arm over the small shoulders and tugging him closer. Gakuto leaned into the touch and they sat like that for the better part of an hour, not speaking. Jiroh pulled away only when Gakuto's stomach growled, sending them into fits of laughter. They headed down to breakfast, Gakuto holding his friend's sleeve like a child holding its mother's skirt.

-x-X-x-

Ohtori bounced out of bed, noting that Hiyoshi was already up and reading a book. The martial artist tilted his head in acknowledgement, flipping pages. Ohtori dressed in silence. He wanted to get out of the school and he figured that heading to the street courts might be fun. Hiyoshi probably wouldn't go with him, so he had to find Shishido. He could only hope that his senpai had no plans.

"See you later, Hiyoshi-kun!" he called on his way out.

Hiyoshi glanced up. "Yeah."

Ohtori smiled at the typical response and bounded down to the dining hall, his tennis bag slung over one shoulder. Upon entering, he noticed two things. The first was that Yuushi wasn't sitting with Gakuto. He kept glancing at the redhead and he would make shifts as though he was going to move, then he would stop. Gakuto was sitting with Jiroh, for once not chattering and gossiping. Yuushi finally headed for the toaster.

The second was that Shishido wasn't there. With a groan, Ohtori jogged over to the toaster where Yuushi was.

"Hey, Oshitari-san, have you seen Shishido-san?" he asked quietly.

The tensai looked fragile and pale. "No. He came in late and left early."

"Is…something wrong?"

"No." Yuushi went on the defensive. "Why would there be?"

"You don't really look too good. You're really pale and…um, maybe you should go to the nurse."

"Nothing is fucking wrong!" Yuushi snapped.

"I didn't mean anything by it!" Ohtori snapped back, trying to calm the fear that shot into being with the tensai's anger. "I was just saying!"

The junior grabbed his senpai's piece of toast and smeared butter on it before stalking out of the dining hall, holding it between his teeth. He finally calmed down and headed toward the Languages wing. Shishido would probably be in an empty classroom, practicing his spoken Latin.

-x-X-x-

"Atobe."

Atobe nodded. "You asked me to meet you. What is it?"

"About yesterday…"

Ohtori froze in his tracks outside and peeped into the room against his better judgment. Atobe and Shishido were sitting side by side on the teacher's desk. He watched, confused, as Shishido toyed with the pages of his Latin book.

"It was a mistake," Atobe interjected. "We both know it and if you will accept my apology, we can just –"

"No." Shishido shook his head. "It's not like you forced me. I let you kiss me. I goddamned encouraged you, Atobe. I…what do say we give this a try? This whole big relationship thing?"

Atobe stared at Shishido for the longest while. Ohtori stayed behind the door, breath caught in his throat. He wanted Atobe to say no. He wanted Shishido for himself, even if he didn't have guts to say so. At last, Atobe looked ready to reply.

_Say no, say no, say no, say no_, Ohtori prayed.

"Very well."

Ohtori bit on his lip to stop from bursting into the room.

"We'll try."

Atobe leaned forward to kiss Shishido and the dash specialist put his hands on Atobe's shoulders, almost shy. It was nothing like their first encounter, where it had been raw and animalistic action. There was the smallest hint of emotion behind it, more platonic than they knew it to be. Shishido shuffled closer to Atobe, hands moving further until his arms were around the taller boy's neck.

Atobe pulled Shishido as close as he could before impatiently yanking him onto his lap, growling in his throat. The kiss started to move more quickly, more as it had the day before. It was a rush, like doing drugs. It was easier but just as addictive. Shishido cursed against Atobe's mouth and pressed his hips down.

Ohtori had seen enough. He shrank back from the door and set off at a run down the hall, not caring that the room's occupants could hear him. He was gone before Shishido made it out of the class, his legs carrying him to no particular destination.

-x-X-x-

"You have to tell him, Gakuto," Jiroh prompted. "He thinks you're angry."

Gakuto made a face. "Tell him the way you've told Atobe?"

For a moment, Jiroh looked like he'd been slapped. His eyebrows came together and he smiled tightly, nodding. "I see how it is…OSHITARI!!!"

Gakuto pulled Jiroh's arm. They stopped walking across the courtyard as Yuushi looked over, expression blank. It reminded Gakuto of Ibu from Fudomine and he dug his short nails into his blond friend's arm. Jiroh let out a little yelp before pointing at the redhead.

"GAKUTO WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!"

Yuushi almost frowned, then he nodded and walked over. He offered his arm and Gakuto warily took it, allowing the tensai to lead him away. Jiroh stood where he was.

_Tell him like you've told Atobe?_

Gakuto knew exactly how to attack people. He was constantly nosing around and, while his intentions were usually (well, sometimes) good, he could pull out an insult at any time. It could hurt but it was never meant to leave a permanent ache. This, however, would. Jiroh didn't know how to tell Atobe that he liked him. Atobe would never see Jiroh as a prospective boyfriend. Sure, Atobe had gone after Shishido. That was different, very different.

Shishido was any Hyoutei student's wet dream. Girls and boys alike swooned whenever he grinned. There were people from other schools as well, most unexpected. Kamio from Fudomine had a tendency to blush whenever Shishido called out to him. They were both fast, which created a bond. Shishido had nicknamed Kamio 'Rhythm' and Kamio, in like, named Shishido 'Dash'. Over the weeks, Kamio started becoming very timid and would flush red whenever he saw Shishido. Another teenager successfully captivated by the dash specialist. Even Jiroh had a tendency to blush around his friend.

He could remember Shishido's fourteenth birthday, the year before. It had been a big party, nowhere near Atobe's standards, but Atobe admitted that he was impressed. Jiroh was too shy to dance with everyone else, watching them grind. Shishido had pulled Jiroh to him and started dancing, rolling their hips together. Jiroh ended up dancing with the birthday boy for the rest of the evening, sometimes being sandwiched. Yuushi and Gakuto had joined in a few times. Atobe didn't deign to join while everyone was grinding, not at first. Shishido let Atobe lead him in a waltz and after that, the great Ore-sama was dragged into the masses.

Jiroh almost didn't notice his phone ringing, he was so wrapped up in the memories. He picked up the phone. "Moshi moshi."

"Jiroh, hey!"

_Speak of the devil_, the blonde thought. "Hey Shishi."

"Guess what?"

"What? You sound happy."

"Atobe and I are together."

Jiroh almost dropped the phone. It hurt; it _physically_ hurt.

"Jiroh? You there?"

"Yeah! I'm happy for you two! Congrats!"

"I knew you'd be supportive. It's cool, huh?"

"Yeah. Really cool. I have to go, right. We'll talk about it later."

"Sure."

Jiroh hung up and let himself sit on the ground. He allowed the numbness to wash over him, to stop him from caring. He stared at the ground for a long time, just thinking about Shishido. His eyes widened at a single, worrying thought.

_What about Ohtori? Doesn't he __**like**__ Shishido?_

"FUCK!"

-x-X-x-

Ohtori dropped his bag on the floor of the bathroom. His mobile was ringing, the same number as the past five times: Shishido. He didn't think he would be able to face Shishido in his current state. He wasn't panicking but he couldn't take it. He needed Valium…and fast. He hid it from Shishido and Hiyoshi as best as he could. Valium was addictive for some and he was on the verge of joining the select population of Valium addicts.

He dug around in his bag, hands shaking, before pulling out the bottle. It was still mostly full. He fumbled with the cap, trying to open it. His fingers weren't listening to him. As he managed to get it open, someone spoke behind him.

"Ohtori."

The bottle dropped from his hands, spilling pills all . "K-Kabaji-kun…"

Kabaji looked at the pills and carefully, began picking them up. "Usu."

"Y-you can't tell anyone!" Ohtori trembled. "You can't. Promise me that you won't tell Atobe-san!"

"Don't worry." Kabaji placed a single Valium in Ohtori's hand before replacing the cap of the bottle. "I promise."

-x-X-x-

A/N: Buu. I FAIL. MAJOR FAILAGE.

Sorry this took so long, I sort of lost interest in it for a while but hey! I'm baaaaaack!

Dedicated to Liy.


End file.
